Yesterday in Stupid News there was a story of a man kicked out and BANISHED from a restaurant at an All You Can Eat Buffet…BEFORE HE HAD ALL HE COULD EAT. It’s right out of the Simpsons…except this guy turns out to be a total jerk about it.

Then there’s more autotuning. Mitt Romney likes lakes. I bet you had no idea.

-Eric

And with that comes sad news. CSI Miami is going off the air. So watch 7 solid minutes of David Caruso delivering those stupid lines, followed by Roger Daltry screaming. 7 Minutes.

The last Idiot from the Internets today is insane. A woman speaking at a Lincoln, Nebraska city council meeting really doesn’t like gay people. This is what gibberish is. The embodiment of it. I had no idea the show Wipeout was a gay snuff program.

-Eric

-Eric

John Hamm raps, poorly, about Taxi. Why this exists I don’t know. “Big ups” to you if you can make it through the whole thing.

Then there’s the news anchor who’s late to the set. Somebody had a big night. Probably with some Hollywood star like Ron Perlman.

And finally today, this just makes me laugh a lot. Mayor of Toledo candidate Ben Konop is a liar. According to the man on the porch. His one man boo-show is a thing of beauty. He didn’t break any laws, and it took some kids to finally silence him. Because if there’s one thing an adult can’t do better than a kid, it’s be annoying.

-Eric

-Eric

The first is 3 Grandmas reacting to the Kim Kardashian sex tape. It’s a very specific fetish for sure. Favorite line…”That’s how the Greeks do it.”

The second is an elderly couple giving a toast for a wedding they unfortunately can’t attend. And I say unfortunate because if you make it through 4 minutes of this, just imagine how awesome an entire evening with these 2 would be.

And then there’s this….a self defense video that gives you some very unorthodox way to fend off a sexual assault. Biting, smearing, and more biting. Kinda gross really…

-Eric

Now, for the Idiots on the Internet portion of the program today.

Firstly, the Obama’s dog and his stance on dogs came under fire this past week, thanks to Romney super-PACs.

Then you have if Siri from the iPhone 4S was around during the filming of Pulp Fiction.

But Siri is not done this day. Check out how racist she really is. Not cool, Siri. Not Cool.

K see you guys tomorrow.

-Eric

So today I bring you Idiots from the Internets.

First, the awesomely Australian grandma who plays the Black Keys on the spoons. If you thought the audio was awesome, get a gander at this bobbledydilly.

Next, international whoring. It’s not just for international whores anymore… 

And finally, Say no to Drugs, Say yes to Roller Skating. Be wary of strangers offering ibuprofens. Their intentions are never pure. Trust the dull ache in your head that makes you want the ibuprofen to begin with. Or don’t…whatever. I can’t roller skate anyway.

-Eric

So today was poem in your pocket day. I know, who knew?! So we were all given the homework assignment of writing a poem, and then Rod would go hand them out to people so they could have a poem for their pockets all day long.

I don’t know how this stuff makes it out of our meetings either. Here’s a video that started it all. Yup…looks like poets.

And a guy complained when he drew one of my poems that it was too long. So now I will post it here in its entirety…for all you fans of poetry to enjoy.

Untitled #6

A slumbering monster takes in the sun
The bugs swarm, engulfing the scraps
No pride is earned this day
Nor love for self or loot
The feast today was cowardly
The weak picked from the herd
Because he can
And will
He came here from another age
With no motive or direction
He did what he knew best
Devour, take, rest
Thus is the end of the fun
When he arose from his slumber
This destroyer of worlds
This tyrannosaurus who travelled time and ruined a birthday party by taking a piece of the cake before it was time

It had time travel and a dinosaur! What’s not to love!?

-Eric

Oh who am I kidding?

So today some of the cast from the Walking Dead came into the studio, and I would love to post pictures and videos and stuff…but none of them are ready! What am I supposed to do, wait? Pssh, that would be professional.

So here’s 3 segments from the show today all about the Blood on the Beach Horror convention happening this weekend at the Holiday Inn on Greenwich Rd.

Part 1 and Part 2 with Michael Rooker and Addie Miller from the Walking Dead. Addie is the little girl from the beginning of episode 1.

Then the singer of the theme song to the movie “The Lost Boys” celebrated 25 years of the movie by singing in an elevator.

This is gonna be an awesome weekend!

-Eric

Idiots on the Internet was pretty sweet today. The true highlight was a guy quitting jobs he doesn’t work. Then there’s this abomination. It makes me feel good to know this is the “Official” version. I’d hate to think someone else was taking credit for this somehow. And finally, leading news stories are not supposed to be THIS.

630 - Sports - Red Sox get a whoopin’, Moyer sets a record, and the NFL schedule is released.

645 - Stupid News - Hospital sued over Circumcision 28 years later…Liquor Bottle, Damn near killed ‘im…Those Wacky Terrorists

730 - Scott “Action” Jackson from YOUR Norfolk Admirals. This is Norfolk Country!

845 - Stupid News - Barking man Violates Noise Ordinance…Cross-Dressed Jail Escape Busted when Man Can’t Walk in Heels…Mobile Hustler Club

930 - Kristen Crowley, The Boot Campaign. You want to be a part of this.

-Eric