I just want to take a second to thank everyone who saw Rod today as he was taking up alms for the poor, meaning me. Now I said this before, and it bears repeating, that there are definitely people more needy than myself. And Rod Fitzwell has been instrumental in raising funds for countless good causes, and for him to think I was worthy really tells me how freaking destitute I really am a lot. So for everyone who dropped off change, dollars, gift cards, Funny Bone passes…thank you. I will put it all to good use. A condor egg omlette seems appropriate for the occasion, yes?

Idiots on the internet today featured a very sad yet informative video teaching you how to potty train your cat. I haven’t lived with a cat in some time, and have since discovered that I’m allergic to them. So I really can’t wrap my head around wanting a cat to do this other than how awful of an apparatus a litter box really is. I totally get not wanting to deal with that mess. But let’s say some cat dander gets left on the seat and then you plop down. In my case, awful ramifications. To quote the wiseman known simply as Dilbert…