Yes, interest in the office is definitely up. In work, not so much. But interest in the monitor is way up. Just look over the guy’s left shoulder. THERE IT IS. Now this isn’t just a random picture, it’s a news story. Yes, interviewing a man standing in front of a million computer monitors has its own hazards. Especially when that one guy who checks every single link on Gorillamask came to work early. You think he got fired? Nah, not over something silly like that.

That’s fear, my friends. The face of fear is the face of a wild beagle. Beagles are known to shoot down our brave men & women in fighter jets from the roofs of their doghouses. You know you’re dealing with a killer on your hands if you see a beagle with a scarf and aviator goggles. So be on the lookout, because they’re a menace. It’s not so much a funny story as it is kind of sad. Countless numbers of beagles are terrorizing Long Island, it’s an invasion!!

We close today with Mel Gibson saying a word that we can’t say on the air, on the air. Yes, when you bring up a person’s bad night from 4 years ago, they aren’t going to be thrilled about it. I like Mel, if only for this and this and Braveheart. And I also realized something very important today. Don’t google “Mel Gibson asshole.” It just doesn’t look good to your boss when they do the IT audit. I probably have some ’splaining to do.

-E

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