With a long weekend of being shut in your homes, because that’s what we do around here, how will you pass the time? Do not try to engage in sexual relations, as years of staring at computers have left your genitals withered and useless. SIMPSONS DID IT!! Shut up crossed-thru text, that’s why nobody likes you.

BUBBLE WRAP! Nothing passes time quite like popping the bubbles in bubblewrap. But what if you haven’t received anything in the mail recently and don’t have any bubblewrap lying around the house? You click here. I have to say it definitely passes the time, but somehow isn’t as satifsying as popping actual bubbles in your hands. But let’s be honest with ourselves, what is?

So word is that the Informer snow is going to definitely hit us tonight. Be glad we aren’t in Louisville. Because the weather guys there just aren’t bored enough. I thought it was college basketball season, don’t these guys have something better to do? The answer, sadly, is no. 2 weather guys down in Kentucky paid tribute to the Gen. Larry Platt’s “Pants on the Ground” song with the …

WHITEST THING YOU WILL EVER SEE.

Which is fitting since they’re “singing” about snow. But this is laughed at even in Canada.

If you’re looking to break into the world of broadcast news, here’s a video that will teach you how to make a great story for TV news. And I have to tell you, aside from the F-bomb near the beginning (it’s Brittish TV, they have different and admittedly cooler standards over there), this is precisely right. Completely formulaic, and it follows it to a TEA, GET IT? Cuz it’s England? T. Take notes on this one, kids. You just may learn something if you’re not careful.

I don’t need to be the one to tell you that war is hell. I’ve played the games, I’ve seen it first-hand. But an office war? That is absolutely hellish. Especially with NERF weapons. This has been around for a while, as the comments section below it will bluntly point out for you, and it’s not exactly a Modern Warfare 2 parody in any regard…but I’d still love to stage this here at the station. Hopefully this keeps you entertained in your emergency bunkers this weekend. Come out Monday morning, won’t you?

-E