That’s how you know.

540 - Started the show off today with a classic! Degreasin’ my Blow up Doll.

620 - F’ing hate Facebook

630 - Sports - The Colts name their new coach, Suzy Kolber talks about Joe’s Willie, and a special Admiral gets a special night..

645 - Stupid News - Star Trek Apartment being Sold in Divorce, Naked Man’s Body being Taken for a Joyride, Windows are Melting Cars!

720 - Jonathan Kiekbusch will end your relationship for you if you don’t have the guts but do have $10.

755 - Dog Show 2011 -  6 new breeds were just added to this year’s dog show. So we revisit the new breeds from last year’s show.

845 - Stupid News - School misspelled on crossing, strip club offering scents so you don’t smell like a strip club, Virgin Girl Sweat Spray

930 - Calls - A guy got a $44 million hospital bill, what’s the highest unexpected bill you ever got?

955 - Dog the Bargain Hunter. One of the pups got arrested and has been suspended from bounty hunting, but she might still be able to work the register.

Last night was the State of the Union address from President Obama. That is a sentence.

645 - Stupid News - Babies are not weapons, Michael Jackson arrested for Pickpocketing, and Police were too mean to a man who turned into The Incredible Hulk.

720 - State of the history of the state of the union. I think it speaks for itself.

730 - Sports - Admirals captain makes his Lightning debut, Chris Kluwe hates Skip Bayless….who doesn’t? And Uranus is tilted. Get it checked.

745 - Calls - the Most Personal thing someone revealed to you immediately after meeting you.

845 - Stupid News - Get those Standing Germans off this plane, Aluminum can scam fail, and how to stop a nosebleed with a chop.

950 - CLASSIC replay, Bill Clinton’s just looking for some Tush.

-E

620 - Rapper Lil Wayne is releasing his prison diaries, because you, the Rumble audience, are just DYING to know what it was like for Mr. Wayne. So to do a little digging ahead, we look back (just go with it) at some of his lyrics. Surely this will act as a preview of sorts for what is to come.

645 - Stupid News - Girl Scout Cookie Money Theft, 15 Year Old Hears mom doing it and calls 911, Woman on the toilet for 2.5 years…do NOT go in there.

730 - Sports - New England the favorites, the money’s on the Giants. Biggest differences between the Cowboys and the Giants? Bubba Watson buys the Gen. Lee. Bruins goalie doesn’t like Obama…a lot. Jose Canseco disintegrates into Uncle Rico.

745 - From Stupid News above…ever catch your parents doing it? Yes, we’re forcing you to relive it!

845 - Stupid News - Ghost beats up wife, Waffle House Robbery Fail, and 10 year old gets a tatto, mom gets arrested. 

940 - Idiots. Family Feud has some awesome respondents to their surveys now. Rap to fetal heartbeat. And The BEST CHURCH SINGER you’ve ever heard. People complained, I call them weenies. If we can collectively as a show sit thru the screeching, you can too.

-E

I’m getting my ass kicked right now for that title.

Today’s highlights are all over the place, not many shows are going to give you at-home sperm donations and a U.S. Senator.

620 - Sperm Donor Trent. A virgin has fathered 14 babies through at-home donations. And for some reason the Government has a problem with this.

630 - Sports - Super Bowl 46 is set, Giants-Patriots rematch. Joe Pa passes away, with some strange facts about Coach Ditka.

645 - Stupid News - How Drunk was the man? Ladies pants on fire, and cat pees on an outlet and it goes poorly.

720 - Ask Shelley - Is there a male G-spot? (Followed by uncomfortable silence) Why are tweets only 140 characters? And a guy STILL wants to know if peeing in your ear will clear up an infection?

845 - Senator Mark Warner - Returned from a trip to India where he stomped on Muggsy Bogues (yes it’s weird but it’s a good story), and will let us know what he thinks on SOPA/PIPA and who his date for the State of the Union will be.

900 - We sampled a new beer, Bud Light Platinum, and it’s DELICIOUS. Keep your dissenting opinion to yourself, we had it, we liked it. You’re not going to make us suddenly realize that we didn’t really.

-E

Today’s recap is brought to you. That’s all.

550 - Thomas the Exploding Tank Engine. Because as we all know in nature, sometimes train just explode.

645 - Stupid News - Man released from jail with no pants, Driving while Reading the Bible, and Door to Door Salesman says “Do These Drugs or buy these Magazines!”

720 - The News You Missed - You know how this works. But the cruise ship the Costa Concordia captain figures prominently!

730 - Sports - Gary Carter in not so good condition. The Jets owner 100% behind Marc Sanchez…unless…and the shortest war.

845 - Stupid News - Guy survives on Beer, Crook crashes into other Crook, Door to Door Healer removing Tumors thru Sex

930 - Games for your Butt - New DLC for GOW3, handheld demos and such, and peeing competitively.

And your phone calls…how you deal with door to door solicitors. Why so much animosity towards the Jehova’s Witnesses???

Idiots on the Internet today. Basically they’re all here, but you gotta do some homework. I’ll open to the back of the book to give you the answers. It’s numbers 2, 6 and 7.

-E

You know, like the golf ball? Whatever. Today, was owned by Christopher Titus. He is in town until Saturday, and you best gets you some tickets.

Today’s highlights:

620 - Assistant Public Service Director Cliff Andrews voice allegedly appears in some morning show attack ads. Robo calls? Cliff? Yes, it appears it is so.

645 - Stupid News - $35,000 Ring Stolen from Sam’s Club, Low-speed police chase using a walker, Tampon Bombs.

720 - Jack Vale, Inventor of The Pooter. A small black tube that makes a fart noise that will get you punched in the head like here.

830 - Christopher Titus, in town at the Funny Bone as mentioned earlier, almost got a show about handicapped cops, or handicops as they should have been known.

835 - Sports - Rod tries, Titus interrupts. Just listen, it’s a great use of your time.

905 - Titus owned the 9 o’clock newscast. Owned it!

Today was a clinic. Tomorrow, we’ll struggle to say our own names correctly.

-E

I have to have a different title everyday, and the date doesn’t cut it according to the higher-ups. So you’re going to be seeing a lot of non sequitirs in that title line.

The dominant topic today was This Video.  Yes, wearing a stupid Clay Matthews jersey instead of Aaron Rodgers cost the Packers a playoff victory. Also, sparkly fingernails. The Packers hate that and everyone knows it. Here’s how you were responsible for your team losing…

620: Jonathan Friedman has a commercial in the Crash the Superbowl contest from Dorito’s, and I’m positive he’s going to win.

630: Sports! Sharx Goalie wins a major award! Mark Duper has tumor removed, Tony and the Tiger, and a fact about snow you won’t believe.

645: Stupid News - 5 Year old on Stabbing Spree, Gay Street Gang changes their Colors so they match, Bed Bath & Beyond radioactive tissue boxes.

820: Cell phone prank. One listener’s wife is constantly losing her cell phones, so one way to shake her of that habit? Accuse her of horrible crimes.

845: Stupid News - Colombian Drug Dealers pushing cattle, Topless Chick @ Apple Store, and Guy Found Dead in Movie Theater Bathroom

-E

Today’s morning show happened in the morning. This much I know. So last night Rumble sprayed himself in the face with hot sauce while eating a taco (huh huh) and we took your calls on injuring yourself while eating. It’s funny now, sure…

645: Stupid News - Another brawl at Chuck E. Cheese, Sexual Favors Offered in Exchange for Chicken Nuggets, and a Cat Thrown from a Window Injures a Woman.

815: Clay from Clay’s Corner - Stephen Hill got his oPossum droppum shirt in the mail, so we had to call to say thanks!

830: Sports - Showboating Wizards soar to 1-12 record, Tebow in the Studio with Shannon Sharpe, and prepare yourselves for Lingerie Bowl IX!

845: Stupid News - Blocks of Clay in iPad2 boxes, Gold Anal Beads, and Detroit cops can’t stop car break-ins, so parking on the street is now prohibited

We have a prank call to share with you, but there’s some technical snafus going on around here. It will be up as soon as we remember to try to dig it up.

-E

Because. I’m a lazy lazy man. We’re looking to do things a little bit differently with this here blog page now. We may start using it for actual blogging of show events??? I know, it sounds crazy, but it’s what’s happening so just bear with us.

615: Psychic Victoria Bullis came on, she didn’t take calls from you, but more gave her predictions for 2012. Jeb Bush. Remember that name.

630: Sports sports sports: NFL Divisional round of the playoffs. Get Rod’s Take, and the shortest sentence in the English language.

645: Stupid News: Big gun in a big ass. 65 pounds of boner pills. And that’s entirely too much cowbell.

715: Ask Shelley: What was the first joke ever told? Including audio from the first ”That’s what she said” ever recorded.   Where do “Uh huh” and “Nuh uh” come from? And When did Gay stop meaning happy and start meaning….really happy?

730: Sports: A double dose! For your face! This time including a Happy Birthday to Rod’s daughter Seaweed.

800: News: Martin Luther King Day. Enjoy your day off, some of you. Huntsman drops out, the how much liquor was consumed in VA last year? A lot. A lot a lot.

845: Stupid News: Messy Yard Fine leads to Jail Time. 94 hamsters but a bitch ain’t one. Woman Coughs up a cancerous tumor.

CLASSIC UPDATE: See, the way our OnDemand page works is that new stuff goes to the top, and all the old stuff gets bumped every time something new goes up. So when we play something old now, we’re going to bump it back up to the top. Like today, late in the show, RICK JAMESTOWN made an appearance. I’m doing my best to stay on top of it, thank you for your cooperation in this trying time.

Idiots today:

Hey Philly, stop being a**holes! Your mayor has spoken!

How big is Mittens Romney’s junk? I don’t know personally, but it must be HUGE if this many calls are getting through to C-Span.

And why the hell does this exist?

-Eric

Here’s just a sampling of some of the horrible Christmas songs displayed on this morning’s show. The first, people didn’t really agree was bad. It features members of the bands Devildriver (ha!), Rob Zombie, Dio, and Testament. Not a terrible lineup…for Rudolph!

Bootsy Collins is just a name that I’ve heard all my life, but have no idea why. Well this duet with Snoop doesnt’ help things…not for my purposes anyway.

What the hell is wrong with this guy?

Local news anchors in Chicago really do at least try to try here. Insert your local favorites in this scenario and laugh just as hard.

-E